Untitled

I am not quite sure what to say and maybe that is why I have not said anything.

Sunday Letters have not happened in a few weeks and for now I am okay with that.

I am in a place I thought I had left and not in a place where I thought I would be.

I have stories to tell but not in ways that would make sense or make them right. So, for the most part the stories have been left untold and that is probably where they will stay for a long time.

I am finding my way back to who I am and where I need to be but I would lie if I told you that it was easy.

Seeking and finding, refining and reshaping is not a comfortable or easy process.

So be patient with me, I beg of you. Be patient while I find my way back to who I am and who I am meant to be.

Peace.

P.S. I love you.

What Do You Want?

We all want of things, not necessarily selfish things, but we all want something. At the very heart of us we want something. What do you want? Do you want to...

- End world hunger

- Bring clean water in Africa

- Pass the Spanish midterm

- Jump in a pile of leaves

- Eat cereal for dinner

- World peace

- The end of prejudice

- Make a difference

- Write a book

- Finish a book

- Finish a sentence

We spend so much of our lives pursuing what makes us happy, sometimes at the cost of others. There is a funny line, an awkward balance between what makes us happy and what makes other people happy. There will always be those kind of choices in our life, whether we want them or not. But what if what we wanted wasn't about us so much about them?

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in what I want, what I want from people, what I from life, what I want from myself, that I forget there are others who are having the same thoughts. I want time and attention and love and to feel valued but I think everyone has those needs as well. But how often do I recognize those needs, those wants, of others? How often do you?

Maybe it is a reminder to myself to remember that sometimes the simplest things mean the most... say thank you, do something without recognition, say I love, make a point to make someone else smile... just do something for someone else.

What do you want?

Would you be willing to set aside what you want? for a minute? for an hour? for a day?

What if what you want is no longer important?

What if what you want was simply to make someone happy?

What would my life look like then?

What would your life look like?

What then?

Peace.

Thursday Letters

*Since Sunday was jammed packed, I did not write Sunday Letters, so today will have to do.

Dear Borders, You are becoming my new boyfriend, or at least my Tennessee boyfriend. Please don't tell BK. Dear Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum, several hours spent with you yesterday proved to be interesting. There were a lot of old artists I had never heard of and several new ones that I now like even more. Dear Books, The ability to lose myself within your words and pages is often times forgotten until I pick you up and dive in once again. Dear You, I can't explain it right now, but thank you. All I can say right now is thank you and I hope that is enough, for now. Dear OTH, You have me wondering if there is magic left in the world. If there is, if there is still magic, then I hope it finds me. Dear Friends in the MO, Lets plan the next reunion soon because I am missing you right now and yesterday and tomorrow.

Peace.

Sunday Letters

Dear Best Friend, spending a couple of days with you this week was amazing. However, now having "Love the Way You Lie" in my head is not wonderful. Dear Random Walker, your big smile and cherry greeting on mile 19 today made the end of the bike ride easier. Dear Second Week of Break, I love you. Please, lets make the next two weeks feel like twelve. Dear Week, I have a few books I want to finish so reading will be a priority and Borders will be my new best friend. Dear Chai Tea, I am learning to make you, please be patient with my attempts.

Peace Out.

Friends

*I forgot to write Sunday Letters this week so if you noticed my apologies...

For the past two years I have led a quasi-nomadic life. Bouncing from place to place, between family and friends, but also learning a lot every stepping of the way. I have seen friendships strengthened, sisters become friendsters (yes, angry red line I see you but I am choosing to ignore you for the pleasure of making up words), and possibilities become goals. There have been new relationships started while other dwindle away and now I am in a place where I don't regret any of it (well, except for that chai tea last night because then I couldn't fall asleep until 2 am).

After almost two years we are here. Well, not really here since I am actually back in the MO writing this from my best friends guest room (hey...) but nonetheless, "here". In a week and a half I will make another big move, this time to somewhere new and full of country music. So what have all of these changes taught me? Friends.

There have been times in the last two years where I have lived hundreds of miles away from some of my closest friends, there have been times when I have lived two miles away. There have been lots of times.

After spending yesterday with two wonderful people, I am even more appreciative (aside: I think this word has too many vowels, just sayin') of the friends I have been blessed to have. And maybe, just maybe I don't tell them that much very much. So it may sound a little cheesy, but thank you, for your friendship, your wisdom, and sharing life these past several years. I can say that I don't think I would be where I am right now without the friends (that includes you) that I have.

So maybe being, back in the same town as some great friends has made me a little sentimental but thats my prerogative (aside: I think there should only be one "r" in that word. Webster, are you out there? Please reconsider the way this is spelled in your dictionary. Thank you). But sometimes in life it is easy to take people for granted and I just want you to know that I don't take you for granted (at least I hope I don't).

At the end of the day (today or any day really) thank you for being you and letting me be me (Avatar reference anyone? "I see you." I digress). So you be you and I'll be me and we can meet under the old friendship tree.

And now I will leave while there might just be some semblance of dignity left. Maybe? No? Awesome.

Peace.

Jess

Sunday Letters

Dear Inception, I finally saw you last night and you lived up to your expectations. Christopher Nolan must be a genius, I am convinced. Dear Borders, you are my new best friend (shhh, don't tell my old best friend). Dear Angry Birds, best new app ever! Dear Grad School, last week for the quarter. A break has never sounded better. Dear Cowboy Boots, I like you even if my feet hurt after awhile. Dear Words, you are quite possibly the worlds my dangerous weapon but oh how I love thee so.

Peace.

Sunday Letters

Dear Chicago, You have provided a great weekend getaway. Thanks! Dear Cop and Robber, You definitely gave us a fright and some entertainment on the bus yesterday. Dear Family, Thanks for the wonderful weekend and the break from the OH. Dear Sunfire, I am sorry that I have put so many miles on you recently. There are many more to come I am sure. Dear Sleep, Sorry I have not spent much time with you recently, I really will try to work on that soon.

Peace.