My Bad

Well in relation to my last post I am an idiot. I clearly meant Mini Cooper rather than a PT Cruiser. Why I continue to get these two car names mixed up I will never know. The end.

Peace.

The Time I Didn't See the PT

I live in a relatively small town which is connected to other smaller towns. In general, it is a typical small town America. However, for about the last two months or so I have seen an overabundance of PT Cruisers. It started with one Friday when I was at work. I was sent on a coffee run (re: vanilla chai) and when I returned to work there were three PT Cruisers in our parking lot. From that day forward I would see a PT Cruiser everyday (at least when I was paying attention) whether running errands or going to work. I was not traveling great distances, as work is only about 20 minutes away, yet I still continued to see these cars constantly, it seemed like I saw them everyday.

A few days ago I was driving back from work or town or one of those things and I realized that I had not seen a PT that day. By this point I had begun to think of these cars as a simple yet obvious reminder of the presence of God. There are times when I have forgotten the very presence of God, the feeling that He is there even when I may not necessarily see Him. Each time I saw a PT Cruiser I began to realize that it was a reminder that God is and was very present. It was almost like God saying "Hey Jess, I am here. I love you and I am not never leaving, you are never alone."

So, I did not see a PT Cruiser, not a single one that day and as I was driving home I realized something else... God is still present even when I do not see Him. At that moment, when I realized that I had not seen a single PT Cruiser that day I was given the realization that even when He is not as visibly clear as a simple car He is still there, I could hear it in the quiet whispers of my soul, the presence of God. And thats the thing, even when I don't see Him He is still very present.

The rest of the story? I saw a PT Cruiser about two hours after the realization that I do not have to see Him for Him to be present. He wins.

Peace.

Just Some Numbers

Lately, numbers have been my life. Though I am neither an accountant nor a mathematician I have been focused on numbers an inordinate amount. However, I am on a break from numbers for the next three weeks at least. Want to know where my obsession with numbers started?

Grad School Winter Quarter (the breakdown)

10 weeks

2 classes

45 discussion papers

65 (roughly) researched responses to discussion papers

13 longer research or action papers

1 survey

4- least number of assignments/papers due in a week

9- greatest number of assignments/papers due in a week

2- number of pages of the shortest paper

50- number of pages of the longest paper

3- number of weeks I have off

3- number of quarters I have left before graduation

It was a welcomed feeling to sleep in this morning without worry or care. When I did wake up my first thought was not "Oh no, how many papers do I have to do today?" Oh break, how I love thee. Sleep, free time, the ability to be unplugged from my computer, and the time to read are all wonderful. Go slow break, go slow.

Peace.

TV Say What?

There are somethings that I find interesting in relation to TV and movies, things that I have observed that I thought I would share because I don't want to work on school. So, now you get a random list. Slight disclaimer, this list in no way is applicable to all TV episodes or movies.

• Unless someone is in bed or in pajamas, shoes are always worn inside
• When any minor or major pillow fight breaks out there are always feathers everywhere. Are there truly that many feathered pillows used? Do feathered pillows really come apart that easily?
• When anything intimate is happening, there are two sheets on the bed... when someone gets out of the bed and takes the sheet, there is always another sheet for the other to wrap around their own body. Who is the interior designers for these and where do they buy their bedding?
• Classroom sizes... typical classrooms on TV have twelve desks that are all lined up in neat little rows. That would be nice or weird.
• Blinds or curtains are never closed, even at night. Privacy please?
• Screens do not exist on windows. People are constantly opening windows or climbing through windows yet there are never screens on these windows. Is no one afraid of birds flying through their windows? Seriously?
• Toothpaste and brushing of the teeth is completely inaccurate. Toothpaste foams is the truth. Unless there is some kind of non-foaming toothpaste than they are not using toothpaste. Plus, since when has brushing your teeth lasted 5.3 seconds? Dental consult, please.
• Perfectly coifed hair. Always. It can be 4pm, 6am, or midnight and the hair is always perfect. Apparently I need a cut, color, and wash asap.

No wonder our society has image problems and bad teeth and birds flying through houses. Okay, the last one might be a bit off but anything is possible. I think.

Peace.

Midnight Musings

I have not written in awhile because frankly I have not known what to say. Life has been up and down and up and down again. There is a lot happening in the world right now. I have heard too many stories of life and death lately, surgeries, hospitalization, pain, and frustration. Sadly, with each day the stories grow deeper.

For over five months now my grandparents have been in and out of the hospital. There have been three open heart surgeries between the two of them. Just when things look good, they turn south again. This means my mom has been back and forth far too often, all of us trying to fill in the gaps. And after five months it becomes exhausting for everyone. I know we have it easier than others at this time so rather than focus on comparison and hard time perhaps we should remember good.

People love.

Sometimes I get too caught up in things that I forget to see that people love. How do people love? Well, there are a few ways I have seen recently.

- A mom going out early in the bitter cold to de-thaw a daughter's car covered in inches of ice.

- Colleagues staying until every book is put away even when they never used the books.

- A friend texting just to see how things are going, to send a reminder that prayers are still being prayed.

- A daughter doing the dishes without being asked.

- A dad leaving a card and jewelry for each of his daughters on a special day, even when life has been crazy.

- A boss truly asking how everyone is doing, checking in on current happenings even when their day is busy.

- A father going dress shopping, returning to the store for at least two exchanges because he knows his daughter does not want to do it and because he truly takes joy in it.

- A community of readers rallying with love and prayers around a Christian author and her husband as they announce their dissolving marriage.

- A boyfriend playing with his girlfriends hair just because it makes her feel better.

Sometimes love is a feeling.

Sometimes love is a word.

Sometimes love is words.

Sometimes love is action.

Love.

Peace.

Sunday Letters

Dear People of the World, I don't really care about football. Did I watch the Superbowl? Not so much. Sorry. But, talk to me about baseball and I have very strong opinions. Dear Giant Sledding Hill, You make me feel out of shape. Next time, I will dominate you more than you dominate me. Dear Food Poisoning/ Flu/ Unknown Stomach Bug, You won at the beginning of the week. I admit defeat. Now, take your victory and run... far, far away. Dear Number 12, Twelfth place should not have an "f" in it. It is just plan peculiar. Dear Awesomeness in a Bowl, Awesome? Check. Full? Check. Stomachache? Big check. Worth it? Probably. Dear Sleep, Glad to meet you. I am about to make your acquaintance once again.

Peace.

Sunday Letters

Dear Black Market, I will be searching you for a new set of lungs soon. This whole sickness is getting old. Fast. Dear Perfectionist Self, Calm yourself. A score of 90 or 95 is still an A. Chill. Dear Heinens, Your 2 Brother German Chocolate Brownie is like food from Heaven. Be still my waistline. Dear Boss Person Lady, Remember that night you made fun of the way I talk? Remember that night you made fun of me for forgetting what prime factorization is? Remember that night you laughed at my logic? I quit. Okay, I don't quit but I am waiting for a time to strike back. Having a young boss person lady is hilarious. Vanilla Chai soon? Excellent. Dear Best Friend, Sometimes we have funny conversations. I have 7 weeks of school before my next break, lets plan something so I can see you again when I am released from school's ruthless grip. Plus I want to see this house that makes you even more of a real live person. Check yes or no.

Peace.