Thank You

Today I spent time in an airport... or three. Actually, I am still in an airport.

What I saw today were several handfuls of soldiers.

As I sat in an airport chair, I watched several people approach a soldier, with what I can only imagine, based on facial expressions, were words of gratitude. And those words were well deserved.

Often times when I see a soldier I too want to offer my thanks but I become too nervous and time slips away before I can freeze it.

I have a younger sister who is considering joining the military. Part of me is beyond proud of her while another part of me is scared that her name will go down as one of the fallen, one of the individuals that gave all. I guess that is the way that so many families feel as they watch their loved one head off to war.

And I guess that's the thing, there is still a battle being raged, multiple battles, everyday.

Once again I realize that I need to hug the ones I love just a little bit closer because life is fleeting and love is eternal.

Peace.

Lists.

I am bored.

And procrastinating.

And in a random mood.

And not using complete sentences.

And now I will write lists.

Things I dislike, a lot:

• Bottom of my pants getting wet
• Socks being wet
• Waking up
• Professors not following their own deadlines
• Alarm clocks
• Construction at 8am
• Bipolar weather
• Being left in foreign countries
• Edamame
• Students whining

Things I like, a lot:

• Sitting outside and reading
• Finishing papers before going to work
• Students writing really strong sentences
• Spring weather during spring, without massive amounts of rain
• Water... drinking, swimming, boating
• Traveling
• Photography
• Motorcycle rides
• Watching The Voice with my sisters
• Dunkin Donuts Vanilla Chai
• Chocolate Chip Bagels
• One Tree Hill
• Hammocks
• Red Sox
• Friends
• Pomegranates
• Strawberries
• Windows down
• 3 week breaks
• Even numbers or increments of 5

School, now? Maybe.

Peace.

Life is Still Sacred

*Disclaimer- this might not be a popular opinion. Consider yourself warned.

Yesterday, like thousands of others, I awoke to see the news that Bin Laden had not only been found but had been killed. My first thought? I wished that they had captured him alive.

As the day progressed I heard reports, saws photos, and listen to news snippets of thousands of people rejoicing. There were images of jubilation, of rejoicing from across the nation. While I try to understand, I do not inherently agree with this approach.

Nearly 10 years ago I sat in a classroom and felt the fear experienced by millions. To compound this fear, my Dad was in New York. Now, unlike so many others he came away unscathed but the fear and realization of what could have happened was still there. You would think that with that in mind I have would join in the celebration, but I did not.

I will be the first to admit that there was some relief. The manhunt of nearly 10 years was over. The leader of an organization that crippled the United States was no longer a threat and I felt that was a good thing, yet there was no jubilation, no participating in parties.

I will not condemn those who have differing opinions but I choose tastefully (hopefully) disagree.

I still consider life sacred and do not take the lose of life something to praise. Often times over the past day and a half I have wondered how we would feel if a country was rejoicing over a death. I have no doubt that there were people rejoicing when thousands of American lives lost on September 11th. Thinking about that feels a little like a slap in the face. Yet, here we are doing the same thing.

I recognize the destruction the Bin Laden brought forth but I still consider life to be a gift and not something to celebrate when it ends.

So yes, I do wish he had been captured alive. I recognize that something had to be done and I understand that I was not there, I was not in Pakistan, when everything happened but I do hope that it did turn out differently. If it had? Well that part I don't have figured out quite yet.

Peace.

My Bad

Well in relation to my last post I am an idiot. I clearly meant Mini Cooper rather than a PT Cruiser. Why I continue to get these two car names mixed up I will never know. The end.

Peace.

The Time I Didn't See the PT

I live in a relatively small town which is connected to other smaller towns. In general, it is a typical small town America. However, for about the last two months or so I have seen an overabundance of PT Cruisers. It started with one Friday when I was at work. I was sent on a coffee run (re: vanilla chai) and when I returned to work there were three PT Cruisers in our parking lot. From that day forward I would see a PT Cruiser everyday (at least when I was paying attention) whether running errands or going to work. I was not traveling great distances, as work is only about 20 minutes away, yet I still continued to see these cars constantly, it seemed like I saw them everyday.

A few days ago I was driving back from work or town or one of those things and I realized that I had not seen a PT that day. By this point I had begun to think of these cars as a simple yet obvious reminder of the presence of God. There are times when I have forgotten the very presence of God, the feeling that He is there even when I may not necessarily see Him. Each time I saw a PT Cruiser I began to realize that it was a reminder that God is and was very present. It was almost like God saying "Hey Jess, I am here. I love you and I am not never leaving, you are never alone."

So, I did not see a PT Cruiser, not a single one that day and as I was driving home I realized something else... God is still present even when I do not see Him. At that moment, when I realized that I had not seen a single PT Cruiser that day I was given the realization that even when He is not as visibly clear as a simple car He is still there, I could hear it in the quiet whispers of my soul, the presence of God. And thats the thing, even when I don't see Him He is still very present.

The rest of the story? I saw a PT Cruiser about two hours after the realization that I do not have to see Him for Him to be present. He wins.

Peace.

Just Some Numbers

Lately, numbers have been my life. Though I am neither an accountant nor a mathematician I have been focused on numbers an inordinate amount. However, I am on a break from numbers for the next three weeks at least. Want to know where my obsession with numbers started?

Grad School Winter Quarter (the breakdown)

10 weeks

2 classes

45 discussion papers

65 (roughly) researched responses to discussion papers

13 longer research or action papers

1 survey

4- least number of assignments/papers due in a week

9- greatest number of assignments/papers due in a week

2- number of pages of the shortest paper

50- number of pages of the longest paper

3- number of weeks I have off

3- number of quarters I have left before graduation

It was a welcomed feeling to sleep in this morning without worry or care. When I did wake up my first thought was not "Oh no, how many papers do I have to do today?" Oh break, how I love thee. Sleep, free time, the ability to be unplugged from my computer, and the time to read are all wonderful. Go slow break, go slow.

Peace.

TV Say What?

There are somethings that I find interesting in relation to TV and movies, things that I have observed that I thought I would share because I don't want to work on school. So, now you get a random list. Slight disclaimer, this list in no way is applicable to all TV episodes or movies.

• Unless someone is in bed or in pajamas, shoes are always worn inside
• When any minor or major pillow fight breaks out there are always feathers everywhere. Are there truly that many feathered pillows used? Do feathered pillows really come apart that easily?
• When anything intimate is happening, there are two sheets on the bed... when someone gets out of the bed and takes the sheet, there is always another sheet for the other to wrap around their own body. Who is the interior designers for these and where do they buy their bedding?
• Classroom sizes... typical classrooms on TV have twelve desks that are all lined up in neat little rows. That would be nice or weird.
• Blinds or curtains are never closed, even at night. Privacy please?
• Screens do not exist on windows. People are constantly opening windows or climbing through windows yet there are never screens on these windows. Is no one afraid of birds flying through their windows? Seriously?
• Toothpaste and brushing of the teeth is completely inaccurate. Toothpaste foams is the truth. Unless there is some kind of non-foaming toothpaste than they are not using toothpaste. Plus, since when has brushing your teeth lasted 5.3 seconds? Dental consult, please.
• Perfectly coifed hair. Always. It can be 4pm, 6am, or midnight and the hair is always perfect. Apparently I need a cut, color, and wash asap.

No wonder our society has image problems and bad teeth and birds flying through houses. Okay, the last one might be a bit off but anything is possible. I think.

Peace.