Since I started grad school just over a year ago I have learned that I am closet perfectionist. Example: a 95% on a paper just does not cut it for me. However, life these last few months have not lead to moments where perfection is possible, thus the neglectfulness of all of the things listed above, and many more.
Since the end of October life has been a bit crazy, however for the last month and a half or so life has been even more insane. With health scares and emergency surgeries (for both my grandparents) my mom has spent more time in the ME than she has in the OH. As a result, I have been trying to pick up the slack, which is not altogether easy with two jobs and full-time school.
Truth: the house is not the cleanest right now, I am sick, I am not ahead on school like I usually am (I am not behind either), the fridge needs to be cleaned out, clean clothes are sitting in laundry baskets waiting to be put away, dinner has been haphazard at times, and well a lot of other things.
I have been trying to do it all. Have other people put the pressure on me? Nope, its all me. I try to do it all- clean the house, work two jobs, cook quality dinners, grocery shopping, running of errands, checking homework, producing 4-6 quality papers a week, and shuffling teenagers around or scheduling shuffling. Its a lot to try to do (for me at least) and finally I had to admit defeat last night and right now I am okay with that.
But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. A flight has been booked. It looks like a certain person will finally be coming home after weeks away. We could not be happier. I am ready to return to my semi-normal, though still busy life.
So, real life? Sometimes real is rough and sometimes I am own worst enemy. Trying to be a perfectionist? Yeah, not so much, at least I hope not.
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