Then, a little after ten, the roommate got back from work and I got a verbal butt-kicking. Sometimes, the truth hurts and its hard and its right to your core, but its the truth. And sometimes the reason that it hurts, at least for me, is that I am not living in the truth in those moments. The roommate told me she was scared to tell me the things that she did because she didn't want to ruin our friendship but she loved me too much to let me stay where I was. So she took a risk and followed God.
I didn't say much, assuring her that it was not because I was hurt but rather because I didn't know quite what to say. So I went to get ready for bed, only to come out a minute later to say thanks and get a hug I think we both needed. Then I went to bed, mostly sleeping for the first time in a long time, until those early morning hours. I woke up, not quite sure why and not quite able to go back to sleep. Instead, I talked to God for awhile and then moved to the couch for some Pride and Prejudice followed by the Today Show until sleep led me back to my bed where I slept, barely hearing the roommate get ready for class and leave.
A wonderful feeling overcame me as I sat on the couch, eating my breakfast, at nearly noon. It was with delight that I was able to tell the roommate that hard words from a roommate, some time with Jesus, and lots of sleep can makes a much happier me, with a much better attitude. And we were both happy, not because things are okay for the moment but because things are okay and its okay when they are not okay because God is there, even when I want to ignore Him. I am sure that will not be the last of the verbal butt-kickings, and even though they hurt, I am thankful that someone cares enough to address the hard stuff.
Peace,
Jess
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